Thursday

My vegan project starts Thursday, September 1, 2011.
In this experiment I will consume only vegan foods for a span of fifty days.
I will be blogging about my day every night, and hopefully, over the course of the fifty days something intersting will happen.  Preferably several interesting things.
This blog will be a daily account of my life.
If any changes occur from the diet, hopefully it will be displayed in my writing.

My brother is sick and he wants me to get him dunkaroos.
He used to bring dunkaroos for his classmates every year on his birthday.
They have been discontinued for years.
But yesterday we saw them at Wal Mart.
It was an exciting day for my brother.

Today my brother received 24 boxes of candy cigarettes in the mail.
He ordered them on amazon for $7.58.
He says he needs them while he watches Mad Men, so he can feel cool like Don Draper.

At the beginning of the summer my brother purchased Dominion Prosperity.
I came  home and he was putting the cards in sleeves.
I asked him why he wasn't doing his homework.
He said that putting the cards into sleeves relaxed him.

My brother just cooked a whole can of tomato soup.
He ate the entire thing it in 1 minute and 31 seconds.

I love my brother.

Coins

I saw this old couple at Panera today.
It instantly occurred to me that the lady was the sour one of the two.
She made the old man do everything.
But he had an endless smile so I guess he was okay and happy.

Once the old man retrieved their food and drink he sat down to enjoy his meal.
The old lady took her plate without a thank you.
The old lady went straight for her soup.
She blew it off in a condescending way and then slurped it like an animal.
The old man daintily picked up his fork and headed for his salad.  After a few tosses he dug in, in a very normal and fluid manner.
The contrast was kind of disturbing.
The old woman sat with her stiff grimace.
But the old man went on smiling.


I firmly believe my brother and his girlfriend are two different sides of a coin.
Never able to see eye to eye but necessary to each other.
Maybe these old-timers were the same way.

But I hope the other side of my coin is a smiler.

Stars

Just finished running.

I walked straight through my house and onto my back porch.

I began to stretch, but was distracted by the sky.

I laid flat on my back and looked up at the stars.

Of course the biggest and brightest star caught my eye, and I gazed at it intently.

But I was soon disgusted.

Why should this star get all the attention?

All stars should be gazed at.

Because every single star is so beautiful that I want to cry, even the ones that I can't see.

Even the little one's are this amazing phenomenon.  Even the little ones are blazing bright balls of gas.

And in the day, when the sun shines so bright that it washes every star from my view, I know that even though some stars are brighter than others, there will always be the sun.  And the sun will outshine them all.  I feel bad for the stars, but then I think about it.

Is the sun brighter because it is bigger? Yes.

Is the sun brighter because it is better? Perhaps - It does have a very important job.

And then that gets me thinking about the sun and its job.

Even though it is bigger and better and more important that all the other stars in the sky, maybe it hates it.

Maybe it wishes it could just be another star.  Maybe its job scares it half to death, or maybe its job keeps it from its true happiness.  And the sun will have to keep doing this job until the end of the world.

And about that big thing.  Maybe the sun hates being big.  Maybe it wishes it could feel small and weak and vulnerable.  Maybe it just wants someone to hold it, and that it could simply feel small in someone else's arms.

I would rather be a star.  Maybe I wouldn't be the biggest, the best, or the most important, but maybe I could see life from my own point of view, spend my time as I would like, be whoever I want to be, and no one would ever judge me.  I might not be important in a lot of people's eyes, but maybe I could be important to at least one person.  The one person that takes the time to notice me.  And I could be there for them and they could be there for me.  And we could fail together and succeed together.  And be together for Christmas and snuggle together next to the fire eating hot chocolate.

And I would forget about all the people who just passed me by.  I would remember some friends I had made, and some others who had noticed me and loved me and who I had love back, but I would be happier because I would have someone to truely love.  And our love would be our own.  And our love would be so beautiful that it would make me want to cry.  Because love is the only real reason to live.