Forty Four

I don't want to write anymore.
I'm sick of dwelling on past experiences...
I mean, who really cares?
All you can do with your past is learn from it, then push it aside.
I love my past, but only because it made me who I am now, and someday the parson I am now will be my past.

I kind of used to think that I understood what I should do with my life.
Not in a career sense, just in a general sense.
You know, work hard, get good grades, go to college, get a good job that I like.
But I honestly couldn't care less about all that stuff in some ways.
I just want to be happy.

My sister's friend has a sister named Yolanda.
Yolanda is beautiful and happy and young.
But she has a tumor in her brain and four years ago she was given five more years to live.
She's going to die at the end of this year.
I have never even met her, but I think about her a lot.
I'm not scared for her or angry about it or anything.
She can handle it, she's strong.
I just want to take something from her story.
She's going to die and I am going to live.
I'm going to have  better attitude from now on.


When this project is over I don't know If I'm going to blog anymore.
Maybe, but just to keep track.
Maybe I'll do one of those five year diary things where you only write down a sentence for every day.
I just don't like to dwell on the past, and I don't want to.

You know what I do want?
A great camera.
I would take pictures over words any day.


By the way I changed the domain and name of this blog.
Being vegan for fifty days has nothing to do with anything and I don't really care anymore.
I wish I did my project on Disney or something.
Being vegan was really easy for me, so I feel like this project won't be any good.
But then I don't really know what it's about.
Whatever, I haven't done any of my homework and I have to take the psat tomorrow.
So goodnight, sweet dreams.
My mom found my retainer... seems like a good omen to me.